We drove our racing cars
We ate our last few jars of caviar
And somewhere out there in the stars
A keen-eyed look-out
Spied a flickering light
Our last hurrah
And when they found our shadows
Grouped around the TV sets
They ran down every lead
They repeated every test
They checked out all the data on their lists
And then the alien anthropologists
Admitted they were still perplexed
But on eliminating every other reason
For our sad demise
They logged the explanation left
This species has amused itself to death

Liberalism after a couple ciders.

That feeling when you put on the radio and every station you turn to has the sound of hipsters.

"At times one remains faithful to a cause only because its opponents do not cease to be insipid."

"Pythes, in his dominions having discovered some gold mines, set all his men at work in digging, searching for, and clearing the ore: no business but that was carried on either by land or sea.  The people were all uneasy at the land being suffered to lie uncultivated: as in the mean time there was likely to be had no corn, no fruits, nor any thing for the purposes of life.  The women entreated the wife of Pithes to use her influence with her husband on this subject of general complaint.  She bade them not to be uneasy; and allured them she would.  Accordingly sending for some goldsmiths, she ordered them to make her in gold fish, ripe fruits, cakes, and meats of various kind.  Pythes, on his return from a journey, asked if supper was ready.  When a golden table was placed before him, covered with the resemblance of various eatables, all worked up in gold.  Pythes much admired the workmanship: then ordered them to be taken away, and the supper to be brought.  Other dishes were accordingly served up: and others after them: but in all were served up only the resemblance of viands in gold.  Pythes in a rage desired her to have done with her shew, and let him have his supper; for he was fatigued and hungry.  You do consider, replied his wife, that victuals are scarce to be procured.  The whole country is employed in ransacking the bowels of the earth for gold: and unless we can eat it, we must all soon stave.  Pythes, convinced of the propriety of this remonstrance, ordered the people from the mines; and directed them to employ themselves in husbandry, and other useful occupations.”